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Jill Stein
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Billionaire donors and lobbyists - want to promote your proxy candidate’s new campaign? Get an apocryphal tale, surreal review, surreal essay, avant-garde poem, straight-up review or avant-garde mention custom-designed to fit the feel of your chosen politician’s corporate bullshit.

To promote your lying scumbag on stoningroll.com, there are THREE things you need to do.

1. Check out the "how we roll" area of the site to get information about different available kinds of promotion.

2. Once you have decided which kind of promotion best suits the liar whose policies you want to control, select that sort of promotion.

3. Contact us via Twitter to tell us about the review you want. At that point, we will sort out your payment details.

Check out examples of apocryphal tales below. These are provided to serve as rough guidelines to prospective lobbyists and donors as to the kind of review they can expect, upon choosing one or other political promotion option above.

 

Erin Burnett - corporate media propagandist
Tuesday June 18 2019

On Outfront with Erin Burnett, Erin did an interview with Bernie Sanders. The context was that Bernie was going to reply to Trump’s official launch of his re-election campaign in Florida later that evening.

Erin asked what Bernie was going to say in response to Trump’s rally (before Bernie had heard Trump’s speech). Bernie made some tongue in cheek speculative predictions that Trump would probably not talk about having wanted to throw 30 million people off their existing health insurance with no alternative plan for them, or the tax breaks he gave to billionaires etc.

Erin asked about Bernie’s view on recent attacks on commercial oil tankers in the gulf of Oman which the CIA allege are likely Iranian in origin. Bernie responded that the attacks should be investigated, but reminded viewers that the American government lied to its citizens about the pretext for the war in Vietnam and the Iraq war (also indicating that according to the constitution only congress has the power to declare war, not any president).

Beatles For Sale

Beatles For Sale

 

“Beatles For Sale” (December 1964) was The Beatles’ fourth album, following “Please Please Me” (March 1963), “With The Beatles” (November 1963), and most importantly, “A Hard Day’s Night” (July 1964). “Beatles For Sale” clearly marks the transition from cute mop-topism to . . 

Blondie

Eat To The Beat

 

Dreaming

In and outside of dreamscapes, over

subconscious marine events, neither flying nor removed

from flight, written words appear in time . .

The Who Rickenbacker guitar

Who’s Next

 

‘Who’s Next’ was released first in the U.S.A. in August 1971, and then in the U.K. later that same month. This, The Who’s fifth studio album, is widely regarded as one of the greatest rock albums of all time. It has achieved both critical acclaim and financial success . . 

The Jam Sound Affects

The Jam - Sound Affects

 

Paul Weller has stated that 'Down in the Tubestation at Midnight' started off as a poem. As early as 'All Mod Cons' fans were sending Paul poems, some of which Paul published in a fanzine. Paul has been influenced by poetry for a long time . . 

John Lennon and Paul McCartney

Lennon v McCartney

 

Please note that the following review of the album ‘Lennon v McCartney’ is a review of an album which does not actually exist in this world (although there are many possible worlds in which it does exist). The fact of the album’s non-existence in this world is beyond our control.

Joni Mitchell - Blue

Joni Mitchell – Blue

 

 

Towards A Theory Of Cymbalism

 

 

All I Want

 

A statement of desire. Let us begin by noting that words are not themselves the ultimate objects of desire; rather, we find that words are found wanting. What is it that words desire? Form, content, syntax, semantics, structure? Again, these words are not themselves the objects of desire – they too are found wanting. No mere symbol is the obect of desire of another symbol. As against this, it is our contention that words are cymbals, which desire to crash with each passionate heart-beat. That is to say, words that are found wanting have desires (not objects) as their object.

Originally published in Slate.com, the following was mysteriously removed from Slate before the 2016 general election featuring Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Stoningroll was lucky enough to record the following text prior to Slate’s removal of Hitchens’ piece, reproduced below. Hitchens’ article is especially relevant now in 2019 given Elizabeth Warren’s theft of Bernie’s 2016 platform and that Warren is now privately meeting with Hillary Clinton.

The Case Against Hillary Clinton

Why on earth would we choose to put the Clinton family drama at the center of our politics again?

By Christopher Hitchens

Seeing the name Hillary in a headline last week—a headline about a life that had involved real achievement—I felt a mouse stirring in the attic of my memory. Eventually, I was able to recall how the two Hillarys had once been mentionable in the same breath. On a first-lady goodwill tour of Asia in April 1995—the kind of banal trip that she now claims as part of her foreign-policy "experience"—Mrs. Clinton had been in Nepal and been briefly introduced to the late Sir Edmund Hillary, conqueror of Mount Everest. Ever ready to milk the moment, she announced that her mother had actually named her for this famous and intrepid explorer. The claim "worked" well enough to be repeated at other stops and even showed up in Bill Clinton's memoirs almost a decade later, as one more instance of the gutsy tradition that undergirds the junior senator from New York. Sen. Clinton was born in 1947, and Sir Edmund Hillary and his partner Tenzing Norgay did not ascend Mount Everest until 1953, so the story was self-evidently untrue and eventually yielded to fact-checking.

On Wednesday June 5, Joe Biden supported the Hyde amendment to Roe v Wade (as he had done for the previous forty years). On Thursday June 6, he claimed that he now opposes it. Why?

The Hyde amendment was passed very soon after Roe v Wade, the Supreme Court ruling that abortion is a constitutional right. However, the amendment prevents federal funds from being used to pay for abortions except in cases of rape, incest or when the mother’s life is in danger. In effect it penalizes low income women (and given the ongoing racist history of America, predominately women of color). In effect, the Hyde amendment was a racist amendment that restricted the abortion rights benefits of the Supreme Court’s Roe v Wade ruling to (relatively affluent) white women.

On Wednesday June 5 (the day before Biden’s 180 degree reversal on Hyde) Chris Cuomo interviewed a Biden surrogate. Biden’s campaign co-chair Cedric Richmond, vaguely replying to questions about Biden’s views on abortion, Roe v Wade and the Hyde amendment said - look at Biden’s record. Next day Biden espoused a view which denounced his record of decades past.

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Tired of all the corporate news anti-Bernie propaganda? So are we.

Limericks for poetic justice will appear here.