The Case Of The New Album Title (excerpt)
Andy played the blues on a red guitar. “Is music really the food of love?” he asked himself. “I don’t know” he replied. It was nearly the time of the season. The children of the village had already laid out their lunch-boxes, impatiently listening to the sandwiches held captive inside, hoping to hear some news . .
The night was filled with a palpable air of anticipation, mixed with a little confusion. Also, it was starting to snow. Crystalline dancers fell silently, or with an almost inaudibly small “thud”, on icy roads and roof-tops.
Underneath one such roof-top, a fresh-faced young boy looked up at his father with full-moon eyes, shining with hope and optimism. The father smiled, playing out his role, realizing that he was about to be asked a simple question – the same question that all the sandwich-listening children of the village wanted an answer to. Even so, although he knew what he was about to be asked, he didn’t know how he would react. Would he be able to contain his emotions once the actual question was posed? He’d hoped that things wouldn’t come down to this, especially near the time of the season, but they had. He was going to have to deal with it, somehow. Then came the moment of truth – the moment he’d been dreading.
“Daddy, what will the title of the new Soley Mourning album be?”
Daddy had to hide his face for a moment. He looked away through the frosted window, at the tumbling dancers outside. He didn’t know how to answer. What could he possibly say? How could he look his little guy in the eye and tell him that the band hadn’t yet thought of a name for their new record? As a single tear rolled down his cheek, he simply sighed and said: “listen to your sandwich, son”.
Off in the distance, a peculiar light was flickering faintly, like a shimmering sword that was being wielded in a war between the forces of good and evil. Glimmering in the cold night air, it seemed to zig-zag its way through the cornfield and unchoreographed chaos of falling flakes. Slowly, as he wiped away his tear, the distant light came more and more into focus. “That’s funny” he thought. The clearer the light became, the more he felt a strange warming sensation that lifted his spirits and dispelled some of the gloom that had been cast around the room. “Where’s that beacon of light coming from, Stephen?” he asked his boy. “Holy shit! That’s Soley Mourning’s house!” replied Stephen, excitedly.
The boy was not wrong – Andy, Dattani, Lloyd, Major Mat and Tone were in the house, and he knew where they were coming from. They’d made a fantastic album – no-one could dispute that. Even so, one very important piece of the puzzle was still missing. Earlier, Dattani and Tone had been trying to finish a jig-saw based on The Beatles’ first movie (1964) entitled “A Hard Day’s Night” and they were not happy, because a piece was missing and Mat had not yet decided on the title of the new album. “Why?!” they asked themselves. Perhaps the cat (Tina V) had got it? That cat had already gone through almost all of her allocated existences - now she was down to the last of these nine lives.
Meanwhile, the micro-wave was somehow mimicking mixolydian modes, playing havoc with the band’s pot-noodles, not to mention the fact that the brain made out of empty wine bottles had a hangover. Everything seemed to be going wrong, and it all seemed to hinge around the lack of a name for the new album. Of course, it was widely accepted that the main responsibility for coming up with album-titles lies with a band’s front-man/main singer, and in the case of Soley Mourning, there was a finger pointing at Major Mat.
“Who’s that man, Daddy?” asked a young girl walking along the street outside, pointing at the window. “That’s Mat, the lead vocalist of Soley Mourning. Word on the street is that he hasn’t thought of a name for the band’s new album yet” her father replied. The girl began to silently weep, as dancers collided around her, slipping on the icy pavement beneath their feet. Suddenly, one dancer came hurtling towards the girl, out of control. “Oi!” her father shouted. “Turn yourself around! Or you’ll be dancing with tears in your eyes!” “Sorry mate” the dancer replied. “Don’t want to make any accidental enemies.”
Paradiddle-dee-dee! Major Mat surveyed the scene of sorrow and anger outside the window. There may not have been any drum solos in “Gone With The Wind”, but his mind ached as if Buddy Rich was inside his head pulverizing his poor brain into oblivion and frankly, he did give a damn. He was under pressure and it was pressing down on him, as the people on the street outside vanished into the night. Dee-day-oh. At that moment, Mat vowed that he would never eat pot-noodles again.
Then, it hit him. Major Mat looked down on the floor as the remaining beer from the now empty can which had been launched at his person now formed a small pool, at the feet of that person. And did those feet, in ancient time, walk upon England’s mountains green? The answer was quite simple. No. But did they now stand beside an electrical outlet in the wall which the band had plugged into many times before, below which a ‘socket pool’ had just emerged? The answer to that question was very different than the answer to the previous question. This time, the answer was yes. More significantly, Major Mat had just been struck with inspiration (and a half-empty, no – half-full beer-can) for the name of the band’s new album.
“I love you guys” he thought to himself. “Right back at ya” thought Lloyd. “Alright now; baby it’s all - right – now.”
Listen to the full story of Soley Mourning: The Rocket Pool (plus The Beatles, The Jam and Joni Mitchell) at Audible.com - Stoning Roll: Apocryphal Tales and Real Album Sales (by A.J. Doherty). Buy Soley Mourning’s album The Rocket Pool here (or simply search in Amazon for Soley Mourning):
track listing for The Rocket Pool
1. Last of These Nine Lives (feat. Tina V)
2. Accidental Enemies
3. Turn Yourself Around
4. Shark Eyes
6. The Rocket Pool
7. The Unmaking of a Rational Mind
8. Seed of Doubt
9. Only Embers
10. So Long Song